It's a baffling ritual at the turn of every season - a virtual stranger or an algorithm deciding what masses and masses of people will look good in. Statement stripes, head-to-toe fuchsia, inner-wear as outwear and other unrealistic trends are all packaged into neat little lists, punctuated by photos of immaculately preened models.
The digital feedback loop then validates the same sartorial options, and as a trend spreads like wildfire through social media, it balloons in visibility. Suddenly, the same cut, colour or shape is everywhere.
But I shouldn't be too critical, having been seduced by these very lists when I was younger. More than the trend itself, it was the allure of being stylish, feeling stylish that I fell for. A decade on, I can only hope I'm slightly wiser.
To mark our now trend-less lives, here are 10 reasons why we've given up on trends entirely.
1. There is no new trend. Every year, 'essentials' lists will invariably feature a trend that has already been peddled to death. Polka dots, sheer dresses, florals, fruit prints, 70's, 80's, 90's. You name it, it has been done.
2. Animal prints are always a thing. That said, we admire its tenacity. Despite the endless mocking, they have stood the test of time, doesn't matter it it's 2001 or 2018. They may be a runway staple but as far as we're concerned, our Singaporean aunties did it first. And best.
3. Because carrying multiple bags is an actual trend in 2018. But does it count if I'm schleppong across town with two overflowing totes and a well-scuffed backpack?
4. The hyperbole. "We've increased our boot options by more than a third since last summer". Yeah, we can all sleep easy tonight.
6.. Affiliate relationships. A growing number of news sites pedal trends lists all while offering a discount from brands they are partnering with. It's completely legal if disclosed but still makes our choices feel less independent.
7. Trend forecasting blurs away individuality and creativity. Powerful trend management agencies and futurists predicate count the same top high-street brands as clients, thus creating a shared pool of data - colours, materials, shapes, templates, etc.
8. Hauling. It's bloated, unnecessary consumption that sets wildly unrealistic expectations for viewers and readers.
9. The ethics. Somewhere in the supply chain, someone is bearing the brunt of these impossibly quick turn-arounds.
10. What you have works fabulously for you, for your style, for your budget and for you needs. Wear what you want!!!